Background...

Initially I had decided to give you a brief overview of my past, so that you may better understand where I am in the present-I decided against that however! Writing about the past seemed to take me off on little tangents and I am not yet ready to expose myself so.

Instead, we shall start at the end of last year (being 2010). I broke up with my boyfriend of three years, two weeks before Christmas.  Sounds awful, because it was, I had loved him but had not been truly happy with him for a very long time. I had that feeling in the pit of my stomach (the one that one SHOULD listen to but so often doesn’t), the feeling which was unavoidably telling me that I was not in the right relationship and that I was not going to find true happiness with this man. I tried blocking it out though, I moved in with him and pretty much changed myself in the hope that I would feel THAT feeling, the one people always talk about, that feeling where you “just know” that you're with “the one”, even during hard times… I never had that, couldn’t find it, couldn’t get myself to feel it. So, I left him, devastated and heartbroken, him, more than me. I took it better than I had expected. I was heartbroken indeed but more relieved than anything else, like an enormous weight had been lifted off my shoulders. This feeling however, was quickly replaced by guilt. He took it worse however. I had become like a stone inside with respect to him, as opposed to the pathetic meek little girl I had allowed myself become during my relationship with him.  I do however not wish to speak ill of him, or cause you to think the same. He was a good man with a kind heart; his heart however should belong to someone other than me. We were far too dissimilar and so I had to sever the bond which was causing me to fade. I could now become strong again and regain the parts of myself which I had suppressed to the point of near extinction.

You remember I mentioned that I was living with him; yes well this meant upon breaking up with him, I was somewhat homeless…

My friend Rileigh came to the rescue though, she let me stay by her till January while I still had to go to work. I stayed with her for two weeks, until I went home for Christmas.

January I spent at another friend, Zoe, who stayed in a garden flat very near to where I worked. Zoe was planning on moving in with Rileigh and Claire (another friend of mine), in February. The initial plan was for me to take Zoe’s place in the February when she moved out but Zoe decided to keep her place, so I took her spot in the house with Claire and Rileigh. It was while sleeping on Zoe’s couch that the subject from my previous little anecdote contacted me…

So February came at last and the three of us moved into our new place, it was awesome (still is). Claire’s boyfriend lives in the same estate, along with Zoe’s boyfriend. It’s cool having the guys near, makes it more sociable. So, did I mention that Rileagh’s boyfriend and my Ex, (who are really good friends), moved in together.

We have been living happily in our little house for four months now, in which time I changed jobs, Rileigh broke up with her boyfriend and Claire’s boyfriend had to go (rather far) away on business.

That pretty much brings us to present  day-well to last week Friday at least, where the next segment will begin. During which time I will ponder the ball-less-ness of the twenty-something male.