It is said that you can choose your friends but not your family. This is true-to a point. But then take a look at your closest friends and think back on how they came to be your trusty amigos and you may find that you were brought together, most likely, by situations or circumstances somewhat out of your control.
Upon meeting one of my best friends, well, we didn’t have much time for one another to tell you the truth and then something happened, looking back-I can’t even remember what but we became friends and that’s that-I don’t think I chose her friendship-it just happened. Another friend and I have literally known one another since infancy and despite ups and downs along the way, she and I are still friends today. To give another example, I consider my two flatmates to be two of my closest friends and one of them I barely even know before we moved in together. Circumstances brought us together as friends, no real choice was involved.
However, we may become friends with people through little choice of our own at times, but, staying friends is a whole other ball game. As friends-real friends, we take the bad in with the good. No-one is perfect, that’s why we need them. Sometimes they build us up or keep us grounded, other times; they are simply there for us.
As friends it is our job to have each other’s best interests at heart and at times we may even voice our opinions on the choices our friends make. To a degree, this is fair and helpful but at the end of the day we are all the governors of our own choices and as friends, we don’t actually have that right we think we do… the right to judge our friends! What with us not actually having the right to judge at all… Even though at times we tell them how we feel about their decisions, purely out of care and concern.
I am going to go as far as saying there are times where, should our friends make decisions which make them completely happy and they are free of any literal danger (even if we aren’t in total agreement of their actions), as friends we should shut our mouths and allow our friends to be happy-truly happy. Does seeing them happy not inadvertently make you happy? We should not be selfish towards our friends, even if their happiness may come at a small cost, let them be, find a way to see the positive, the bigger picture-would you not want them to do the same for you?
Should you ever find yourself in a situation where your friendship with someone is marred by some sort of conflict or difference of opinion or choice that one or both have made. Think carefully before throwing in the towel. Think about the bigger picture, consider all angles and remember why this person was special to you to begin with. Listen to all sides before forming an opinion-subjective one sided aspects can lead to bad judgments and misconceptions-which in turn can poison a friendship.
As adults, we have far more control over our friendships and have the ability to speak more openly and honestly with one another-to resolve issues without unnecessary-immature drama- we all know better than that.
Hear each other out-before terminating friendships, they are precious and true ones are hard to come by in this fickle world.
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